You’ve decided that you want to set your friend up on a date with someone, which is nice thing to do, but here are some guidelines that should ensure minimal friction if things don’t go according to plan.
1. Don’t exaggerate either person’s qualities. Yes you’re keen to set them up but overplaying how great each one of them is actually builds up expectations. Stick to the truth and remember that you may have either party questioning you afterwards if you haven’t been truthful!
2. Don’t interfere. It’s tempting once you’ve been playing master matchmaker to extend your talents to thinking that you need to orchestrate future dates or even their relationship as you’ll be priding yourself on your handiwork. Don’t do it though because whilst they no doubt appreciate the helping hand you had in the introduction, milking the credit will get you put out in the cold.
3. Seriously consider whether this guy is dating material. If you already know that all he wants to do is shag around and he’s even told you to your face, why matchmake?
4. Whilst there is no legislating for taste or even firm predictions on who will or won’t get on, do give serious consideration as to whether their personalities will clash. Suss out whether they have any common ground. Opposites can and do attract but there should be some commonality.
5. Avoid placing your friend into red flag situations. If the guy is emotionally unavailable, in the middle of a messy divorce, still living with an ex, married, attached, whatever….as long as he screams drama, you shouldn’t be trying to set him up with your friend.
6. Trust your instincts. If your instincts say that they won’t get on, it’s probably because they won’t.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2026, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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