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Baggage Reclaim with Natalie Lue
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Loving, Lasting Relationships Need the Compatibility of Shared Core Values

by NATALIE | Self

Compatibility is about the ability to co-exist harmoniously. We experience it with people with whom we share core values (character and direction). These values speak for who we are and what we prioritise in terms of how we want to live our lives (relationships,...

Breakups Are Often Catalysts For Self-Discovery… If We Pay Attention

by NATALIE | Breakups

When we view a breakup through the lens of our untruths, we see the undesired outcome as proof of our unworthiness. So many of us mistakenly believe breakups and incompatibility are signs of failure. Of course, this affects how we show up for ourselves and within...

Getting Along On Common Ground in Your Romantic Relationships? Or Compromising Yourself?

by NATALIE | Self

Why do we do all manner of [painful] things to impress and win over romantic partners? We want to get along, and we think it’s the same as compatibility, something we assume we have when we experience common ground. Think of common ground as the connection we...

“Why Didn’t My Relationship Work Out?”: Incompatibility

by NATALIE | Self

We cite so many reasons some relationships don’t work out, but they’re one reason: incompatibility, also known as wanting different things. It’s nothing to do with being ‘good enough’. ‘Trying harder’ won’t fix it. When we break up with someone...

Beyond Surface Connections: From Common Ground to Shared Core Values

by NATALIE | Self

Whether we’re strangers, acquaintances, close friends, co-workers, family, or lovers, getting along drives our perception of the quality of the relationship and how secure we expect us to feel in the future. Think of getting along as the things we do to have...
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I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.

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YOUR FAVOURITES

  • Podcast Ep. 209: The Compatibility Factor
  • Keeping It Real About Valentine's Day

MOST POPULAR POSTS

  • 30 Signs Someone Isn’t Interested or Is Half-Heartedly Interested in You: How to Avoid Being a Passing-Time Candidate

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  • Why Do They Keep Having Sex With Me If They’re Not Interested or Don’t Want the Relationship I Want?

  • The Big Question: Will he try to get in contact with me?

  • 10 Signs That A Guy Wants You Just For Sex

  • Breaking Up With and Getting Over a Married/Attached Man

  • Overlappers: When they start a new relationship just before your breakup

  • Miss You, Miss You, Oops, But I’m Not Getting Back With You: When Your Ex Says They Miss You But You’re Still Broken Up

  • Letting Go of a Relationship That Doesn’t Exist

Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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