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It’s Not The X Factor: Stop Treating Dating Like You’re Auditioning For An Expert Judge

It’s Not The X Factor: Stop Treating Dating Like You’re Auditioning For An Expert Judge

by NATALIE | Dating

‘Rejection’ within dating and relationships is widely treated like ‘auditioning’ for a part and then failing to get the role. Think about this for a moment: Treating dating like an audition means someone always holds the power from the outset. Your fate is...
Are You Waiting To Be Chosen? Why It’s Time To Put Away Your Choose Me Stick

Are You Waiting To Be Chosen? Why It’s Time To Put Away Your Choose Me Stick

by NATALIE | Self

When I listen to people explain their frustrations with dating or how they’re feeling rejected after a possible date didn’t materialise, or not getting past a date or few with someone, what I realise is some of us are waiting to be chosen. In these...
There’s No Tipping Point of Loving, Giving, & Doing Enough To ‘Win’ People Over

There’s No Tipping Point of Loving, Giving, & Doing Enough To ‘Win’ People Over

by NATALIE | Boundaries

Early on in life, I learned that it’s really important to be and do what people expect or tell you. Through interactions and observations, including where I was praised and where I was hurt, I learned that compliance was vital. I deduced that you get loved,...
Why Aren’t I Attracted to the Good/Decent/Nice Guys?

Why Aren’t I Attracted to the Good/Decent/Nice Guys?

by NATALIE | Healing the Past

I get so many emails lamenting the confusion of women not feeling attracted to decent guys. Often we’ll try to force ourselves to keep dating them despite not seeing a future or resign ourselves to being mistreated by not-so-nice guys. Let me tell you why this...

Being Valued & Having Personal Values in Relationships: Discover Your Value Now (Part 3)

by NATALIE | Self

Over parts one and two of this mini series on being valued and having personal values, I’ve been emphasising the importance of recognising that you are setting your own value by the company that you keep, expecting ‘unqualified’ and undeserving...
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I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.

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Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2026, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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