It’s amazing what we talk ourselves into and accept from others when we don’t believe that we’re worth it. Or, when we know we are but don’t think who and what we want is out there. There’s a fear that we can’t do better and that this is as good as it gets. Unfortunately, this sets the bar very low and creates a self-fulfilling prophecy.
By accepting less than who we are and what we need, desire and deserve, we, well, do that. It’s impossible for us to be open to something better or feel good about ourselves at the same time as settling. We settle, quietly (or possibly openly) dislike ourselves for doing so but worry, then, about being alone, making a mistake or just getting more of the same. And so the vicious cycle continues.
This is where we’re actually accepting crumbs from ourselves. It’s the putting us down, limiting our options, filling our head with scarcity and comparison thoughts. It’s putting us last by deprioritising our needs, expectations, desires, feelings and opinions. If we don’t continue to settle for a low self-image and no self-care, there isn’t room to settle for someone who treats us in a less-than manner. When we treat and regard us with increasing love, care trust and respect, we don’t accept less from others than what we can already do for ourselves.
Whatever you’re prepared to settle for is what you’re going to get. Don’t accept crumbs… and that includes from yourself.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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