When we’re reliant on external esteem to feel happy and secure, we end up feeling anything but these; instead, we end up reliant on stuff, substances, unhealthy actions, and the validation of others. We look outside of us to feel better and end up feeling as if we have no control over our lives. Each time we experience an emotion that we have a negative association with, we try to push it down or away and when we want to feel good, we end up looking for artificial boosts that provide us with temporary relief and happy feelings but are underpinned by blame and shame.
It doesn’t have to be like this.
I’ve been asked by so many people about initial steps that they can take that will enable them to learn how to take care of their feelings and to calm down responses in situations where they tend to engage in unhealthy self-soothing. Many Baggage Reclaim readers do some of their worst self-destruction in response to feelings of loneliness, boredom or stress, often breaking No Contact because of the onset of discomfort and having no inner support and tools to respond in a constructive and loving manner.
This Quick Guide was created for students of my Baggage Reclaim School courses, with many citing it as being invaluable as it’s designed to help you to get into the process quickly. It includes suggestions as well as prompts to help you brainstorm ways in which you can comfort you as well as promoting an honest conversation about the things that are actually dragging you down.
It includes the Feelings Diary Journaling Guide, which has prompts to help you support your self-soothing by jotting down your feelings as well as a Day Tracker worksheet, perfect for getting conscious, aware, and present about your day. While this worksheet (editable PDF or print it out) is aimed at people who struggle with reaching out to someone toxic, the worksheet can simply be used to track your days so that you can gather data on what is and isn’t working for you.
£6.99 | Buy How To Self-Soothe Quick Guide now
