The question of the day: Why can’t men say what they mean and mean what they say?
Answer: Actually, they do, it’s just that we are not listening. A guy will let you know the kind of person he is. The red flags start to show from the first date, when little subterfuges and lies send your sixth sense screaming. However, most of us project what we want to see and hear onto the guy and keep those rose-tinted goggles on.
A man will tell you exactly the kind of person he is. You can tell from his relationships with other people, his mother and the way he treats the wait-staff. You can tell from how he interacts with children and animals. Hell, you can tell from how he is on the phone when he’s dealing with Customer Service. You can tell when you go out and you see him rubbernecking. You can tell from what he’s told you about his relationship with his ex. His job is another clue. So are his possessions. You can tell from the things you see in his apartment. You can tell from those ignorant, biased comments he makes about how he views the world. He tells you everything you need to know about him.
You just need to start listening. We have to stop focusing so much on how we feel and how we think when we are with them. Instead, we need to listen to our sixth sense and trust our intuition and stop letting sex cloud our judgement and alcohol impair our thinking. We need sometimes to listen to our girlfriends who see that something is wrong. We need to trust ourselves, trust our gut, trust our intuition.
Let’s pick up those little red flags from the onset. Sure, some things are big enough to kick a fuss about, but when it’s combined with something else, then something else; hey buster, 3 strikes and you’re out!
If we listen more to our sixth sense, we will spot the heartbreakers a mile a way and steer clear. We will weed out the Mr. Unavailables and the Undesirables. Ultimately, we will be able to find the man that’s right for us and stop wasting time on riff-raff.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2025, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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