Balance is one of the five landmarks of healthy relationships, along with commitment, consistency, intimacy, and progression. When you have the landmarks plus you (and they) endeavour to embody the four qualities of a loving partner, you co-create, forge and sustain a mutually fulfilling relationship.
A relationship with balance is equitable. It has two balanced people because they each have, or are striving for, the four qualities. It’s the difference between interdependence versus codependence and hyper independence.
Interactions aren’t about catering to fear with the drama of engaging in a power struggle. There’s no inferiority or superiority. No one is in a ‘child role’ and making the other into an authority. Neither party is trying to have it all on their terms. Each partner treats and regards the other and themselves as worthwhile and valuable. This balance also means they regulate each other as opposed triggering each other into turmoil and destabilisation,
Relationships with the landmark of balance feature a willingness to share. Both parties are willing to healthily compromise (finding a solution you can both live with). There’s no keeping score, so there’s no making a sacrifice to cash in at a later date.
When you sacrifice but you trust, it’s a give. You trust that your partner will give autonomously to you now and in the future, so there’s no need to keep score. You each believe in each of your intentions and your relationship. In instances where you recognise that resentment’s in the room, you’re both willing to learn from this to return the relationship (and yourselves) to a healthy equilibrium.
A relationship with the landmark of balance has two people who bring out the best in each other. They aren’t threatened by each other’s growth. Each partner brings different qualities, characteristics, strengths and flaws to the relationship, and they undoubtedly each do different things. The net result of whatever each is doing is that the relationship feels balanced and, as a result, mutual.
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