First Date Commandments

Some guys wonder why they never get a second date. Perhaps it’s because they failed horribly on the First Date…or broke one of the first date commandments. Here it is listed in black and white, so you can study up and never fail on the first date again.

1. Show up on time. Don’t be late and if you are, call me ahead of time.
2. Plan well. Planning and preparation shows that you actually put thought into this evening. Know where we are going and what we are doing. Surprise me, think outside the box and come up with an original yet fun and interesting plan for the date.
3. Smell good. BO/MO are unacceptable in any shape or form. Bathing is essential. Don’t try to cover BO with gallons of cologne/aftershave. Mints can be provided upon request.
4. Dress well. Don’t wear baggy, slouchy, grungy, wrinkled, unironed clothing. Anything that makes you look like a homeless waif won’t put you in my good graces.
5. Compliment. Compliments increase the positive aura around the evening. However, excessive flattery does come across as empty noise.
6. Open doors. Yes, I can do it myself, but chivalry still wins the day.
7. Converse intelligently. Topics like current affairs, weather, music, movies and pop culture are good starting points. Avoid controversial topics that might lead to dissension. Avoid sharing too much information.
8. Listen. Pay attention to what I’m saying. Active listening skills must apply. Don’t stare at my breasts while listening and don’t try to form some witty response while I’m talking. Don’t interrupt me. Just listen…you might learn something that will get you to date 2.
9. Avoid excessive alcohol. Don’t try to get me drunk and don’t get yourself drunk.
10. Treat well. “Treat the waitstaff nicely. It was once said that you can know how the person is like, and how he will treat you in future, from the way he treats them ~skybellz”
11. No Bobblenecking. Don’t leer at other women, even the waitress. For this hour, the only woman that should exist is yours truly.
12. Tip well. Don’t bitch about the waiter and try to shortchange him. And yes honey, it takes two to play, and one to pay (You)…at least on the first date…did you think it was going to be any other way?
13. Touch well. A touch on my arm or hand is not going to send me screeching in the other direction, so don’t be afraid to touch me. However, groping is NOT acceptable under any circumstances.
14. Kiss well. Don’t swallow my tongue, don’t lie in my mouth like a dead fish, don’t slobber and lick all over my face.
15. Leave gracefully. Don’t invite yourself up, or try to get me back to your place.
16. Follow up. “Call to thank me for a wonderful evening ~ Monica “

It is possible to get to Date Two. You just have to know what to do, and do it right.
Vixen is Deputy Editor for Baggage Reclaim. Visit her blog Bad Girls Guide

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