Know the status of your relationship before you meet and greet. Don’t assume that just because you’re meeting his parents that your relationship is serious because meeting the parents means different things to different people. Some people bring every girl they’re with to meet their parents (from shag to full fledged girlfriend), whereas others only bring home the very special.
Don’t get carried away with what his parents say. His parents may make comments about how their son is interacting with you, which may give the impression that they think he’s very serious, in love, whatever with you, but this could get you building castles in the sky, if your guy doesn’t actually profess or intend anything. Keep things in perspective!
Dress appropriately. Play it safe and leave the nightclub outfits, twenty layers of make-up, very low cut tops or too high skirts for a different occasion. There is no need to dress like a nun, but dress to impress his parents, not men on a dancefloor. There’s no need for your funeral best but either go smart-casual or if your boyfriend is casual, go casual.
Don’t bitch about him! It’s one thing for his parents to pass comment but I would save the bitching about his irritating habits for when you know them a lot better.
Don’t swear even if they do. Even if his parents are dropping the F word like gangsta rappers, don’t feel the urge to make a guest appearance on the record.
Do be personable, friendly, and let your good qualities shine through. Yes you could be shy and stare at the floor and be monosyllabic but where would that get you? Ask questions, tell them a bit about yourself, and show an interest in their son. Don’t however come across as clingy girlfriend with a potential to be a bunny boiler.
Don’t try to compete with his mum. This is a waste of time and a battle that may never end. It is however a good time to assess his relationship with his mum. You need a guy with a good healthy love and respect of his mother – neither a mother lover (mummy’s boy) or a mother hater.
Obviously don’t flirt with his dad. You may be able to charm the birds out of the trees but flirting with his dad is likely to be perceived as creepy and overstepping the boundaries. It’s easy to slip into this mode if you realise that it’s easier to charm him than his mother, but remember yourself and who you are in a relationship with.
Don’t use the opportunity of meeting his parents to force your man’s hand by getting him to define the relationship, talk about marriage, babies, moving in etc. Backing your boyfriend into the naughty corner at his parents like a rabbit trapped in the headlights may prevent you from ever going for a second visit.
Do get some background information so that you have some starting points for conversation.
Do go easy on the booze because getting tipsy/pissed out of your head/blind drunk and making a tit out of yourself will be something that’s very difficult to forget. Not only will you potentially create the wrong impression on his parents but he might see you in a different light if he’s not so understanding.
I’ve been running Baggage Reclaim since September 2005, and I’ve spent many thousands of hours writing this labour of love. The site has been ad-free the entire time, and it costs hundreds of pounds a month to run it on my own. If what I share here has helped you and you’re in a position to do so, I would love if you could make a donation. Your support is so very much appreciated! Thank you.
Copyright Natalie Lue 2005-2026, All rights reserved. Written and express permission along with credit is needed to reproduce and distribute excerpts or entire pieces of my work.
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